Things are just like that!

Malungkot lang..you can't really please and convince everybody.

Honesty is still the best policy.
I just hope tha people are being honest to themselves and the others.

Trust is one of the most important element to any kind of relationship.

Title: Out of Reach
Artist: Gabrielle
Album: Unknown

Knew the signs
Wasn't right
I was stupid for a while
Swept away by you
And now I feel like a fool
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?

Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Catch myself
From despair
I could drown
If I stay here
Keeping busy everyday
I know I will be OK

But I was
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach, so far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

So much hurt,
So much pain
Takes a while
To regain
What is lost inside
And I hope that in time,
You'll be out of my mind
And I'll be over you

But now I'm
So confused,
My heart's bruised
Was I ever loved by you?
Out of reach,
So far
I never had your heart
Out of reach,
Couldn't see
We were never
Meant to be

Out of reach,
So far
You never gave your heart
In my reach, I can see
There's a life out there
For me

GYM GIRL!

Last week I went to the gym and inquired about their programs. This is it! Imust...I must...I must go to the gym! Then I met Belai my trainor...Saya kakaexcite!

May 13, Friday the 13th. Twilight Zone. It's time for my assessment.

Huhuhuhuhu...I wasn't so good. I am not in good shape so I need a certain diet and work out 3x a week at least. Grabe todo na'to!

Then last Monday I started my diet and my workout...Goodbye pesto, carbonara, pizza etc. etc. Hello Wheat bread, corn flakes, oatmeal...haaaayyyy...But I need this! I can do this!

My first day at the gym rocks! I worked out for 1.5 hours. 15 reps 3 sets of 10 routines....grabe kapuy kaayo! Then I went to the badminton court and played with some friends...Sarap ng feeling parang ang gaan!

Kadiri ako pagkatapos. I'm all sweaty...but it was fun! Thursday ulit!

HAPPY DAY!

May 4 is the birthday of one of my bestest friend but I can't greet her kasi I lost my phone and I don't think she is still using her old number.

After 2 weeks, I received a miscall from an unknown number. Then I received a text that says," Kams, I will be in Ateneo this week. I'll drop by your office.-Haps" Shocked and excited that I am, I accidentally pressed a key on my phone and deleted the msg. I deleted my msg from Happy so I got sad...labo...hehehehe.

I was dying to see her...It's been almost a year since I last saw her. Then my bestfriend showed up. I hugged her tight just like when we didn't see each other for two years and a lot of things unfolded before me. Things that happened to her while I'm away, things that I'm still guilty about because I wasn't there when she needed me...Oh well that was in the past and I saw her well recovered and far from just being fine.

We missed each other so after my work, we went to Megamall. Walang kasawaang Mega...Hay naku! We ate at our favorite pizza and pasta place, Sbarro. Then we went around and bought some stuff....

Haaaayyyyy... Mis ko talaga sya. Sana this time hindi na kami magpalit palit ng number pareho so we can keep in touch.

In Good Company!

Miss ko na ang mga bruha kong hiskul friends.

I called up Monti to ask if she want to go out last Wednesday. she told me she can't then she told me that she has a "lakad" (date ba ang bagong english ng term na ito?). Well I got a little sad then she could have sensed it to my tone so she told me she will watch a movie with this guy and that she has extra tickets for two in Megamall. The movie is In Good Company. I was so excited that I immediately called my friend then agreed that we will watch.

I remembered that she was quite hesitant after offerinf the ticket but then just told me that she will meet me there. I had this hunch that this won't go the way it should be. My instincts tell me that she will leave us alon and that we willnot watch it together.

I hurried after my interview to pick up my friend and went to megamall. When we got there, she told me that she was on her way, then we just waited for her and had our dinner while waiting. After the dinner we imediately went to the cinema to wait for Monti. My instinct was right, she showed up alone with the ticket. She will not watch it with us. The reason, she is not ready to introduce the guy and the timing isn't right. I so much miss her and the reason I was there is so that we can be together. I know what she was trying to avoid but I don't think I fully understand. Buti nalang I am in good company. At least medyo nabawasan ang nakakalokang set up ng gabi.

The movie was great but it could have been better if I am with my bruhang friend...hehehehe...peace Monti!

The funny thing is, after the movie, I saw her and the person, we can't help but laugh at the scenario but I didn't approach her because it will spoil our show...haaaayyyyy...talaga naman! Maloloka ako!

Kung di ko lang mahal yung friend ko na to! Sus...sana next time makalabas tayo ulit...his time magkasama.

Totoo na'to walang biro MA na!

Last Wednesday, I had my MA interview. Scary!

I'm quite close to the Chair, my interviewer, but then I know that this is a different thing. We happen to work together before but again this is not the same. The time is fast approaching and before I know it, it's time.

This is it! I fixed myself then rushed to the dept. (salamat sa sinabihan kong iremind ako at muntik nako malate). As I arrived there, the secretaries greeted me with a friendly smile and said "Buti naman babalik ka na. Magtuturo ka ba?" Then I just said "Mag-ooffice pa rin po pero mag MA na." I also saw my teachers and mentors. Still tensed, I patiently waited for my turn. Then the time comes.

Ate Elma told me to come in. As I was entering and taking my seat, I saw her opening my envelop then told me "Kamille iba ito ha." I know it was different! I wouldn't have been that tensed if I think that it is just something I can easily deal with. Then we went on to interview proper. She asked me why I left my past work, why I chose OAA, what are my plans and the dreading question how do you think you can work on your verbal skills...Huh?! that issue for the nth time in my life...Damn that quanti score that it makes my verbal looks very low...I though I will be rejected when she asked me why I didn't apply to other Universities, why just Ateneo. Oh well after an agonizing 30mins. Finally we are done with the interview.

I was given my subjects for the first sem...Winner! she will be my teacher this sem and I must prove my justifications on how I will work on my verbal skills to her. I have to prove her that I'm worthy to be admitted. Then I filled up some stuff and I can't wait to just get out there and relax....haaaayyyy Kapuy! Parang Orals!

Basta I'm IN! hehehehe ang drama ko ngayon DREAM, BELIEVE, SURVIVE, TAGISN NG GALING, LAKASAN NG LOOB mapanindigan ko sana!

By the river Piedra

At last after 25 years e natapos ko rin basahin ang By the River Piedra I Sat Down and Wept! Happy ending (oooppsss sorry spoiler).

Naiyak ako!

Wala lang kai super love nila ang isa't isa and they waited a very long time before it was actualized and it almost didn't happen.

Life has a lot of ups and downs talaga.

Sometimes we know what should be done and yet we don't do it.Maybe because of pride or if not we hard headedly think that it is not what we perceive as the right thing to do.

Some people are just not being honest with themselves sometimes. It's so sad that other people get affected by it because everyone is connected with each other.

It is just so amusing that the male character became very honest with how he feels and had the guts to say it inspite and despit everything. Ika nga ni Fr. Ferriols "Lundagin mo babe!" and the character did. He did not do it blindly but he did it with his entirety. He knows what his decision will entail, the possible consequences and how he should balance evrything. He knows what he wants, what his responsibilities are and his priorities.

Wala lang masaya lang talga magmahal lalo na't mahal ka rin ng taong mahal mo. Sabi nga, it is better to love and get hurt than not to love at all because loving makes us alive. Naalala ko tuloy yung isang article sa Tsinoy dati that there is this very bright fine young lady who committed suicide because according to her suicide note, among the reasons why she did it is because she has so much love but has no one to give it to.

To love is one thing, to be loved is another. When these two happens between two people at the same time, it feels like Heaven on Earth.

What's a Meantime Girl? by anonymous

Shes the one you call when youre bored because shemakes you laugh. Shes the one you talk to when youre feeling downbecause shes willing to lend an ear and be a friend. Shes not the one youcall when you need a date to your companys Christmas party, or togo dancing with on a Saturday night. Shes the one youspend time with between girlfriends, before you find"The One". You know, the one who you keep around inthe meantime.Shes not one of the guys, not a tomboy, but you dontlook at her as a "real" woman, either. Shes not bitchy enough, moodyenough, or sexy enough to be seen in that light. Shes too laid-back,too easily amused by the same things your male buddies are amused by.Shes too understanding, too comfortable she doesnt make youfeel nervous or excited the way a "real" woman does.But shes cool, and nice, and funny, and attractiveenough that when youre lonely or horny and needintimate female companionship, shell do just fine.You dont have to wine and dine her because she knowsthe real you already, and you dont have any facadesto keep up, no pretenses to preserve. Youre nottrying to get anything of substance out of her. Shesnot easy, but you know that she cares about you and isattracted to you, and that shell give you theintimacy you need. And you know you dont have toexplain yourself or the situation, that shell be ableto cope with the fact that this isnt the beginning ofa relationship or that theres any possibility thatyou have any real romantic feelings for her. It wontbother her that youll get up in the morning, put onyour pants, say goodbye, and go on a date with thewoman youve been mooning over for weeks who finallyagreed to go out with you. Shell settle for a goodbyehug and a promise to call her and tell her how thedate went. Shes just so cool . . . why cant allwomen be like that?!But deep down, if you really think about it (which youprobably dont because to you, the situation between the two of youisnt important enough to merit any real thought), you know that itsreally not fair. You know that although she would never say it, it hurtsher to know that despite all her good points and all the fun you twohave, you dont think shes good enough to spend any real time with. Sure,its mostly her fault, because she doesnt have to give in to yourneeds she could play the hard-to-get bitch like the rest of them do, if shereally wanted to. But you and she both know that she probablycouldnt pull it off. Maybe shes too short, or a little overweight, or hasa big birthmark on her forehead, or works at Taco Bell. Whatever thereason, somehow life has given her a lot of really great qualities but hasleft out the ones that men want (or think they want) in a woman. So sheremains forever the funny friend, the steadfast companion, the secretlover, and you go on searching for your goddess who will somehow beeverything you ever wanted in a woman. Youll joke to her that she should be the best man atyour wedding, and shell laugh and make a joke about a smelly rentaltux. She doesnt captivate you with her beauty, or opendoors with her smile. Mainly she blends in with the crowd. Shessafe. She doesnt want to be the center of attentionand turn the heads of everyone in the room. But shewants to turn someones head. She wants to be specialto someone, too. We all do. She has feelings. She has a heart. In fact, sheprobably has a bigger and better heart than any woman youve ever knownbecause shes had a front-row seat to The Mess That IsYour Life, and she likes you anyway. She obviouslysees something worthwhile and redeeming in you becausealthough youve given her nothing, absolutely noreason to still be around, she is.Anyway, yeah. Im a Meantime Girl. Been one more timesthan I care to admit. I dont know the reason, really, and at thispoint I dont even care. I just want to let every guy know whos ever hadthe good fortune to have a Meantime Girl that we maybe a lot of fun, but we cry, too. A lot. And someday we wont be around.

Saturday Fever!

Just want to express my happiness and that I really had a great time last Saturday.

After we went down from Baguio, we went back to our regular office work. It's a Saturday so we only work half day.

The day started right. I received a call from a friend asking if we will go out. Since I have been away for quite a while, I was so excited because I missed going out and at the same time I haven't seen this friend for quite a while. At first the plan was just to visit another friend but since I'm so straight forward a person, I asked if we will go somewhere else after the visit. I expressed that I would love to go out after but we have to drop by my house to get something. To some it up, we agreed that we will go out and will see each other after the office.

I went on with my work that day. We met at the office and ate lunch at...guess where...hehehehe Manang's. We went to the mall in Cubao because the say is getting hot and we want to freshen up. Then we went to my house spent quite a good time there then went on with our visit.

I said that I haven't been to a mall in Ortigas and was nice enough to join me on my first visit and movie there. I had a great time though the movie wasn't so fascinating plus I don't think it was appreciated by my companion...hehehehehe...

We went to Mcdo after for my dinner then said our good byes after an hour or so.

I thank my friend for giving me that wonderful time. I will surely treasure it because it might take a while before we can ever do it again.

It's nice to be back!

The weather isnice in Baguio though it is not so cold. But I still missed the city!

I missed my friends and my sister! I missed the streets, the noise, the malls and the movies.

We had our R & R also during those 4 days but still we worked alongside it.

Wala lang basta I'm happy to be back!

VIGAN!

Iba talaga ang Vigan! Ang daming old buildings...ang dami rin old people hehehehe...

Maliit lang na lugar pero mayaman! Ang daming antique...scary!

Nagpunta kami sa palengke, sa mga simbahan, sa paburnayan, sa St. Paul (hehehehe trabaho pa rin!) sa Leona's at nanood kami kung paano ginagawa ang Ilocos Empanada! Ang sarap ng empanada yum!

Pinuntahan namin ang bahay ng kapatid ni Chavit na si Bonito. Kaibigan kasi ni Padre ang kapatid nila na si Germi. Ang ganda ng bahay nila! Well preserved! Puro antique, malinis at maaliwalas. Akalain mo may balon sa terrace?!

Sayana nga lang wala nang oras puntahan ang bahay ni Chavit...maganda raw dun, nature trip! Gusto ko pa naman makita ang tiger na cute...Ü

Ang Vigan pasyalan lang for me...ayoko tumira dun. Takot kasi ako sa mumu. Maraming antiques dun at mga banga! Takot ako!

Five People You meet in Heaven

First of all salamat kay Guiller for lending me the book.

This book made me wonder about who will be the five people I will meet in Heaven (teka sure bako na sa heaven ako pupunta? wish ko lang dun talga).

1st person--- No idea! It could be that the person is already there or possibly it hasn't happened yet so
there's none as of the moment...It will make me feel very sad to find out that there is one.

2nd person--- Wala pa rin or possibly hindi ko lang talga alam. If there's someone na naiisip kong gagawin ito
for me, that person is still very much alive. I know she will face even a canon just to protect me.

3rd person--- Baka si St. Ignatius kasi sa Ateneo ako nagwowork...oooooohhhhh Astig!

4th person--- Wala pa! (Buhay pa rin sya, if it counts...joke!... hehehehehe) Bitter!

5th person--- Wish ko lang wala nito... But still curious ako who it will be... I'm a murderer ang drama ko nun!

Hmmmmmm....since wala pakong masyadong maisip who the people might be, it means bata pako and I haven't lived my life that long yet and my experiences and exposure to the world is not that wide.

Hmmmm.....Since I short lived my life, if I will die early... I will very curious who the people will be.

Sinu-sino kaya?

STA MARIA!

When I was in fourth year high school, I was lucky to be among the delegates of the 1997 First Asia and the Pacific World Heritage Youth Forum in Beijing, China. The main essence of the conference is how to take care and maintian the World Heritage sites in our designated countries. Among the World Heritage Sites in the Philippines then were Banaue Rice Terraces, Molo Church in Iloilo and the Tubataha Reef I think near Palawan.

When we went to Vigan after our planning, we passed by the Sta. Maria Church. It was a very old church at the top of a very steep cemented stairs. Like other old churches in the country, it has a separate bell tower beide it.

I was so surprised to discover that it is a World Heritage Site...Wala lang, upon seeing it I travelled down the memory lane. My happy moments with my friends from China, Indonesia, India , Laos, Sri Lanka, Pakistan, Malaysia, etc.

It's so weird because I felt "at home" in that church! I usually have goosebumps upon entering old churches but with this one, I felt differently.

When I entered the church, the very long aisle got my attention. Wala lang, napaisip lang ako, masarap siguro maglakad dun in a long beautiful white gown with the love of your life waiting near the altar and all of your family, relatives and friends surrounding you for that very special day. hehehehe...Panaginip...

Sta. Maria Talga oo!

Planning Preps

I was so excited to go to Baguio! Kakaloka! Kaya lang I was sad kasi ilang araw ko maiiwan ang aking mga friendsters!

Ang daming work! Kahit papunta na kami sa Baguio para magplanning, marami pa rin pending. Akala ko nga hindi ako makakapagswim with chi, guiller, rollz and bel. Akalain mo andun din si Bella! Wala kasing pasok dapat kaso kinailangan namin pumasok ng May 2.

Hindi pako nakakapack ng clothes to Baguio, late na rin ako umuwi. Worst is early ako dapat gumising! We have to leave at 4 am. I need to be in the office as early as 3:30 am....Grrrr...naloloka na talaga ako!